Introducing Passive Aggressive Solutions™

[Note: This post was an April Fool’s joke!]

If you’re a disciple of the Couch Potato strategy, chances are that you handle your own investments without an advisor. And that’s the right decision for many people. However, over the past few months, I’ve received many emails from readers who need the advice of a professional to help them achieve their financial goals.

That’s why I’m pleased to announce my new investment advisory service, Passive Aggressive Solutions™. I want to help you take Couch Potato investing to the next level: after all, in difficult markets like these, settling for average just isn’t good enough.

Here’s how the service works: I’ll start by helping you build an individually tailored portfolio of low-cost ETFs or index funds, using a proprietary algorithm I designed using Excel. That’s the passive part. Then I’ll implement aggressive strategies designed to earn above-market returns—something you can’t do with index funds. It’s like having your cake and eating it, too.

Of course, I want a slice of the cake. But the business model for Passive Aggressive Solutions™ is unique. My original goal was to charge a flat fee, but I changed my mind after bumping into Preet Banerjee of WhereDoesAllMyMoneyGo.com this week. (We were attending a press conference for some intriguing new ETFs, which he discusses on his blog today.) I told Preet about my service and he responded bluntly: “If you can’t help people beat the index, then your advice isn’t worth anything.” I took those words to heart, and decided that my fee should be half of any above-market performance you achieve. For example, if your portfolio earns 3% above the index benchmark, my fee is 1.5%. If I don’t help you beat the market, you don’t pay. It’s that simple.

Passive Aggressive Solutions™ offers comprehensive financial planning services, including:

  • Asset allocation models
  • Portfolio rebalancing techniques
  • Risk profiling
  • Index data to benchmark returns
  • Leading research from top analysts
  • Fund recommendations
  • Option strategies to control risk
  • Online trading tips
  • Lots of other jargon

Please contact me at mail@canadiancouchpotato.com if you’d like more information on how to become a client. If you include the special BONUS CODE in the subject line of your email, you’ll get the first six months free. The bonus code is the first letter in each of the above bullet points.

16 Responses to Introducing Passive Aggressive Solutions™

  1. simms April 1, 2010 at 6:49 am #

    Happy April Fools!

  2. doug April 1, 2010 at 8:36 am #

    Haha, a good one…you almost had me until I got to the bonus code.

  3. Chris April 1, 2010 at 9:03 am #

    Dan,

    That’s an interesting idea, but I’d personally be willing to do it only if you were paid over a 3-5 year average.

    It’s not very difficult to create a portfolio that will beat the index one year and then trail the index the next/previous due to “reversion to mean”. Say you beat the index one year by 3% and claim 1.5% in fees. The next year you’re down 3% and collect 0%. My return over the two years should be index+0% and yours should be 0%, but under your proposed fee plan, I would get index-0.75% and you would get 0.75%.

    But I find your blog worth paying for. 🙂

  4. Chris April 1, 2010 at 9:05 am #

    And yes, I got the joke. I just happen to be in the process of firing a financial adviser who’s switching to a scheme like this.

  5. singsonn April 1, 2010 at 9:33 am #

    Nice one, I had to read to the end to figure out!

  6. DM April 1, 2010 at 9:43 am #

    Nice one Dan, I couldn’t believe what I was reading at first! Nice job!

  7. Terra April 1, 2010 at 11:10 am #

    That was a good one!! You had me ready to sign up!

  8. Jamas April 1, 2010 at 1:05 pm #

    Good one, I was thinking you had cracked under the pressure of writing a blog.

  9. Robert April 1, 2010 at 2:39 pm #

    This is the second article I have seen that had me wondering “WTF?” until I clued in … nicely done.

  10. brad April 1, 2010 at 3:30 pm #

    Or as we say in Québec, Poisson d’Avril.

  11. Pacific April 2, 2010 at 12:30 am #

    I am very busy right now, but want to sign up for this fascinating concept. Could you contact me next April 1, 2011. Thank you.

    🙂

  12. Brian April 6, 2010 at 9:57 am #

    Know it’s late, but you got me there =p

  13. Big Cajun Man April 6, 2010 at 10:37 am #

    Good one, I almost posted a comment questioning whether you had a Father or not, but I appreciate good humor too.

    You should have added that you have a degree in Alchemy and will gladly turn Lead (Pb) into Gold (Au) as well!

  14. dalerassport@gmail.com April 6, 2010 at 7:51 pm #

    Like Edward G used to say “you dirty rat”

    ..good one, Dan

  15. moneyxyz April 13, 2010 at 9:01 pm #

    You had me fooled.

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  1. A Lap Of The Blogs : WhereDoesAllMyMoneyGo.com - April 2, 2010

    […] Dan Bortolotti, who writes CanadianCouchPotato.com introduces his new advisory service for investors: Passive-Aggressive Solutions. […]

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